He who despises love
He growls not groans
No regrets
No mercy
No sympathy
He shall never grief
Never cares to live
Just hate
Envy
No retreat
Proceed with anger
Outrage to torture
Dismal and weary
of a never ending story.
28/4/15
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Aku dah bosan
Assalamualaikum.
Setelah setahun lebih berhijrah, aku masih begini.
Rindu
Rindu
Rindu
Hanya satu yang bisa aku katakan..
"AKU DAH BOSAN"
2015
Setelah setahun lebih berhijrah, aku masih begini.
Rindu
Rindu
Rindu
Hanya satu yang bisa aku katakan..
"AKU DAH BOSAN"
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Unlucky me or Lucky me?
If only I was cruel.
I'll break all the rules.
Kick everyone out of their chairs.
Pull their shirts and pull their hairs.
If only I was heartless.
I would swear and I would curse.
I wouldn't give a single care.
Keep all the knowledge, I wouldn't share.
If only that was me.
A person that I couldn't be.
For deep inside my heart it says,
they're my responsibility and not my preys.
Sunday, August 3, 2014
KCH-KL-KCH
Cerita dah lama berlalu. Raya dah masuk hari ketujuh. Tapi kenangan masih segar diingatan.
Bila semua orang sibuk terkandas dalam jam, kami sekeluarga masih di Kuching. Pada pagi Raya, kami sekeluarga berbaju melayu dan berkurung menuju ke lapangan terbang. Tepat jam 5.30 pagi, kapal terbang berlepas ke Kuala Lumpur. Anak-anak tersenyum lebar tidak sabar menunggu untuk tiba. Seronok tak terkata.
Setiba di Kuala Lumpur jam 7.15, ipar dan anak buah dah menunggu. Anak semakin gembira dapat berjumpa dengan sanak saudara.
4 hari.
Pendek dan singkat. Ingin lagi tinggal lebih lama. Namun rezeki hanya setakat ini sahaja. Dengan izinNya, suatu hari pasti akan berjumpa lagi. Setakat mengubat rindu. Syukur pada Ilahi.
Bila semua orang sibuk terkandas dalam jam, kami sekeluarga masih di Kuching. Pada pagi Raya, kami sekeluarga berbaju melayu dan berkurung menuju ke lapangan terbang. Tepat jam 5.30 pagi, kapal terbang berlepas ke Kuala Lumpur. Anak-anak tersenyum lebar tidak sabar menunggu untuk tiba. Seronok tak terkata.
Setiba di Kuala Lumpur jam 7.15, ipar dan anak buah dah menunggu. Anak semakin gembira dapat berjumpa dengan sanak saudara.
4 hari.
Pendek dan singkat. Ingin lagi tinggal lebih lama. Namun rezeki hanya setakat ini sahaja. Dengan izinNya, suatu hari pasti akan berjumpa lagi. Setakat mengubat rindu. Syukur pada Ilahi.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
HAPPY SMILE
Exactly at 9.15 in the morning, my phone rang. To my surprise, it was my best friend from Kuala Lumpur. As I answered my phone, I started to smile. It was really nice to hear from her with our naughty jokes and crack heads.
Soon she gave the phone to another guy friend. A friend who always offers help yet at the same time, a person I always quarrel with. It was indeed great to be able to quarrel with him in the phone once again.
Then the phone was passed to another friend, the only doctor in the house. Hearing their voices made me alive. I was crazy again. Laughing and giggling as we go through memory lane.
When we had to bid goodbye, I think my heart and soul had flown back to my previous school. As I entered my class, I was smiling all through the way. My mind thinking of my friends and how I miss them so much. Shouting, fighting, debating, laughing, joking and mocking at each other.
I messaged my friend saying how happy I was to hear from her and suddenly at 11.50, she called me again. And the craziness go on. Today is indeed a happy day for me.
Soon she gave the phone to another guy friend. A friend who always offers help yet at the same time, a person I always quarrel with. It was indeed great to be able to quarrel with him in the phone once again.
Then the phone was passed to another friend, the only doctor in the house. Hearing their voices made me alive. I was crazy again. Laughing and giggling as we go through memory lane.
When we had to bid goodbye, I think my heart and soul had flown back to my previous school. As I entered my class, I was smiling all through the way. My mind thinking of my friends and how I miss them so much. Shouting, fighting, debating, laughing, joking and mocking at each other.
I messaged my friend saying how happy I was to hear from her and suddenly at 11.50, she called me again. And the craziness go on. Today is indeed a happy day for me.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Working life
Had left Sarawak at the age of 18. After 17 years, I finally returned. Not for good I think. My heart still misses the hectic life in Kuala Lumpur.
Surprisingly when I was posted to Kuching, I got a school which was quite far from my home address. Coincident? I have no idea. It was not at the heart of the city yet I wouldn't dare to say it is in the rural area.
When I first entered the school compound, it was beautiful and modern. As I was welcomed by the teachers, I realised it was totally different from my previous school. I was given a pendrive for work use and I have to thumb print every time I come to work instead of the normal punch card. My table is amazing since I have sockets on the table for personal use and I can see everyone has a laptop and printer on their tables. It was almost like a cubicle, where you have your own private place. I have shelves, cupboards and drawers to place my belongings. And the best part is the staff room is air conditioned! There is no ceiling fan and the room is extremely cold. I think I have to drag my feet going to class.
Then when it comes to handing in our lesson plans, we have to type and print the lesson and arrange them nicely in a file given by the school. And we only hand them in after two or three weeks.
Okay, I think by now I might sound like a weirdo who has never seen or been in this situation. The fact is YES, I have never been in this situation. The previous school was different yet I miss the friendly smiles of my friends who have been my colleagues for 13 years.
Teaching is always a difficult task since you have to deal with different culture, language, behaviour and attitude. Students are students. No other words to describe them.
As for the work ethic, perhaps it is more relaxing. Starts working at 7.10 in the morning and ends at 2.10 in the evening. If there is any meeting, the latest was at 5.30 in the evening and that happens maybe once a month.
Timetable and schedule.
Hmm.. quite alright for a newcomer. See what I'm doing now. I actually have time to write in my blog again. Pretty impressive right?
I have been working for six months and I don't know what's the life span of this working life will be. At the moment, adaptation is the best word to keep in mind.
Surprisingly when I was posted to Kuching, I got a school which was quite far from my home address. Coincident? I have no idea. It was not at the heart of the city yet I wouldn't dare to say it is in the rural area.
When I first entered the school compound, it was beautiful and modern. As I was welcomed by the teachers, I realised it was totally different from my previous school. I was given a pendrive for work use and I have to thumb print every time I come to work instead of the normal punch card. My table is amazing since I have sockets on the table for personal use and I can see everyone has a laptop and printer on their tables. It was almost like a cubicle, where you have your own private place. I have shelves, cupboards and drawers to place my belongings. And the best part is the staff room is air conditioned! There is no ceiling fan and the room is extremely cold. I think I have to drag my feet going to class.
Then when it comes to handing in our lesson plans, we have to type and print the lesson and arrange them nicely in a file given by the school. And we only hand them in after two or three weeks.
Okay, I think by now I might sound like a weirdo who has never seen or been in this situation. The fact is YES, I have never been in this situation. The previous school was different yet I miss the friendly smiles of my friends who have been my colleagues for 13 years.
Teaching is always a difficult task since you have to deal with different culture, language, behaviour and attitude. Students are students. No other words to describe them.
As for the work ethic, perhaps it is more relaxing. Starts working at 7.10 in the morning and ends at 2.10 in the evening. If there is any meeting, the latest was at 5.30 in the evening and that happens maybe once a month.
Timetable and schedule.
Hmm.. quite alright for a newcomer. See what I'm doing now. I actually have time to write in my blog again. Pretty impressive right?
I have been working for six months and I don't know what's the life span of this working life will be. At the moment, adaptation is the best word to keep in mind.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Fasting Month
 |
Remembering his first day of fasting.
When we went to the food bazaar, he stopped almost every step looking at the drinks sold with his hand on his chest. Talking to himself saying 'be patient, be patient'. It was a funny scene. Yet we did not force him and asked if he wanted to break fast. Indeed he was patient enough refusing to break fast.
Hopefully he can still survive this last five days. He has been counting because in that five more days, we will be back in Kuala Lumpur. Everyone misses it. Everyone wants to go home. 
Friday, July 18, 2014
Past and Present
March.
Everyone thought it was the most terrible incident. A holiday nightmare. Perhaps even a lesson to be learnt. Whatever it may be, we can only plan. Allah decides.
Legend
So this is how life is,
We plan.
We prepare.
We hope.
And when misfortune happens,
our hands at our hearts.
Our lips are hut.
Watery eyes are out of control.
It seems like we have lost our soul.
Then tears flow slowly down our cheeks.
Speechless to what we seek.
...MH370...
The number will be remembered.
The lost will be treasured.
The date will become history.
And the tragedy will be an unforgettable memory.
And today July, 18
What word should be used to describe this incident? Fate.
Let us also pray for MH17 victims. As for now, I am lost for words.
Hello world
My last entry was on 4th April 2012. It has been 2 years that I have left my blog. I didn't know why and what made me stop writing but now I'm trying to spare some time to share ideas, opinions and experiences with others. Unfortunately, I have forgotten how to brighten a blog to make it more cheerful and lively. Slowly I hope, I will learn again all these terms and gadgets related to blogging. Well, to start the blog, let's just talk about the beginning of my 2014.
Where am I now?
I used to live in Kuala Lumpur. The busy and hectic life of the metropolitan city. The city that never sleeps apart from Las Vegas of course. Now, I've migrated to Sarawak, the land of the hornbill. Quiet, less traffic and more greenery than tall buildings. My hometown, to be exact.
How did this happen?
Easy actually. I filled in the transfer form. Big step. Less thought. Rush decision.
So, what's up?
Plenty. Day by day I wanted to start writing in my blog but I was still waiting for the right time. Get myself settled down, get comfortable,relax the mind and open my heart.
Where am I now?
I used to live in Kuala Lumpur. The busy and hectic life of the metropolitan city. The city that never sleeps apart from Las Vegas of course. Now, I've migrated to Sarawak, the land of the hornbill. Quiet, less traffic and more greenery than tall buildings. My hometown, to be exact.
How did this happen?
Easy actually. I filled in the transfer form. Big step. Less thought. Rush decision.
So, what's up?
Plenty. Day by day I wanted to start writing in my blog but I was still waiting for the right time. Get myself settled down, get comfortable,relax the mind and open my heart.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
A Gift
Yesterday I went shopping for grocery. At the counter, the cashier was extremely fast scanning the goods. Suddenly as I was about to pay, she cut her finger (no idea how) and... I can't even describe it.
Anyway, going back a few years, my daughter fell from a double decker bed. Her mouth was bleeding and I took her to the bathroom to gargle. My head was already spinning. Then suddenly blood came out from her nose. I panicked. Her father was ready to bring her to the hospital. I told him I was not feeling well but still tried to get ready. Just as I wanted to enter the bedroom, I was feeling dizzy and fainted. My husband carried me to the bed and brought a glass of water. I felt warm blood rushing to my head. I slowly opened my eyes and saw my little girl standing at the door with a cloth on her nose. As if she was thinking and wondering who was the actual patient that needed a treatment. What a laugh.
Yes, might be funny but we can't run from reality. Hemophobia, fear of blood. http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=12337 Always tried to be strong. Never stop me from exploring the world. It is not a curse but a gift.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Through Her Window
She wakes up early, getting ready to perform her duty. She is the breadwinner and there are mouth to feed. Never once she comes with a grumbling face. Smiling, every time she meets people. Greeting them with nice words to say.
She starts in a small room, sometimes under the staircase. She grabs hold of her equipment, with the strength of a man, moving her feet to every corner of the buildings. The moment she enters, everything is shiny. The ambiance of the room feels fresh with sweet fragrance clearing the air. Everything seems to be in place.
Sometimes she would stop for awhile to have a friendly chat or go through some magazines on the table before continuing her work. Her pretty face cheers everyone she meets.
One day, as she does her daily routine, she heard a voice among the crowd. She started to remember her past and shared it around. Reminds her of an admirer she once knew when she worked at a factory. She never regretted her choice though the admirer did ask her hand in marriage. But her fate was with someone out of arranged marriage, who had passed away a few years ago.
She complimented her late husband for being very nice and religious. She claimed that although he had long gone, he still supports her and her children by receiving his pension since the late husband worked in a government sector.
Her eyes sparkled thinking of him but diverge her thoughts to the admirer. Laughing out loud, she claimed that her friends spoke of the now successful admirer. He was once married and now single and available. Her friends lured her to contact the admirer saying she would be happy now if she accepted the admirer before.
With a deep breath, she said money is not everything. Though he is successful in his career, not in his marriage. She claimed that she might not be rich, and she is not saying she is poor, but she is happy with her life. Living moderately is enough as long as she can provide food on the table.
Indeed she is strong. Sometimes on weekends she would work in houses for the extra income. She laughs, she smiles, she is happy. And through her window, she is grateful with what she has now. Though she might not be rich, she is complete.
Elvis Costello - She-Elvis Costello
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She starts in a small room, sometimes under the staircase. She grabs hold of her equipment, with the strength of a man, moving her feet to every corner of the buildings. The moment she enters, everything is shiny. The ambiance of the room feels fresh with sweet fragrance clearing the air. Everything seems to be in place.
Sometimes she would stop for awhile to have a friendly chat or go through some magazines on the table before continuing her work. Her pretty face cheers everyone she meets.
One day, as she does her daily routine, she heard a voice among the crowd. She started to remember her past and shared it around. Reminds her of an admirer she once knew when she worked at a factory. She never regretted her choice though the admirer did ask her hand in marriage. But her fate was with someone out of arranged marriage, who had passed away a few years ago.
She complimented her late husband for being very nice and religious. She claimed that although he had long gone, he still supports her and her children by receiving his pension since the late husband worked in a government sector.
Her eyes sparkled thinking of him but diverge her thoughts to the admirer. Laughing out loud, she claimed that her friends spoke of the now successful admirer. He was once married and now single and available. Her friends lured her to contact the admirer saying she would be happy now if she accepted the admirer before.
With a deep breath, she said money is not everything. Though he is successful in his career, not in his marriage. She claimed that she might not be rich, and she is not saying she is poor, but she is happy with her life. Living moderately is enough as long as she can provide food on the table.
Indeed she is strong. Sometimes on weekends she would work in houses for the extra income. She laughs, she smiles, she is happy. And through her window, she is grateful with what she has now. Though she might not be rich, she is complete.
Elvis Costello - She-Elvis Costello
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Thursday, March 29, 2012
Curiosity killed the cat
Another short entry..
Why?
Because I'm lost and afraid.
I'm supposed to share something wonderful today but ended up with this title because of the movie showing in HBO tonight, '127 Hours'!
I admit.. I'm a scaredy-cat. I hate watching movies or stories that show someone torturing and cutting themselves up. Yet this type of video clips are so famous in You Tube nowadays. (not that I'm saying I watch it but accidentally saw it.. sadly to say)
However, I totally respect the real hero, Aron Ralston for his bravery.
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/08/0830_040830_aronralston.html
I'm having a major headache, having to peek at this movie and type the entry at the same time.
Curious to watch the ending.
Time out for me..
Why?
Because I'm lost and afraid.
I'm supposed to share something wonderful today but ended up with this title because of the movie showing in HBO tonight, '127 Hours'!
I admit.. I'm a scaredy-cat. I hate watching movies or stories that show someone torturing and cutting themselves up. Yet this type of video clips are so famous in You Tube nowadays. (not that I'm saying I watch it but accidentally saw it.. sadly to say)
However, I totally respect the real hero, Aron Ralston for his bravery.
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/08/0830_040830_aronralston.html
I'm having a major headache, having to peek at this movie and type the entry at the same time.
Curious to watch the ending.
Time out for me..
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Mentor Mentee
A short entry for today.
My school organised a Mentor Mentee Programme.
A student requested to be my mentee.
I accepted without official agreement yet.
The student always enters the staff room to see me; educational purposes or just a short hello.
Yesterday, Teacher's Meeting:
1. no students in the staff room
2. teacher plays an important role (be a good example for students)
Today, meet the student in the staff room.
Asked him to go outside and told him nicely not to see me at my table.
Instead, asked for me and I'll come.
Student's reaction; negative.
I said I am following rules (being a good example) so students should follow rules too.
Student's reaction; "It's okay teacher, I will not bother you again!!"
Student went away.
Teacher's reaction; blur.
Moral of the story; I need a MENTOR!
My school organised a Mentor Mentee Programme.
A student requested to be my mentee.
I accepted without official agreement yet.
The student always enters the staff room to see me; educational purposes or just a short hello.
Yesterday, Teacher's Meeting:
1. no students in the staff room
2. teacher plays an important role (be a good example for students)
Today, meet the student in the staff room.
Asked him to go outside and told him nicely not to see me at my table.
Instead, asked for me and I'll come.
Student's reaction; negative.
I said I am following rules (being a good example) so students should follow rules too.
Student's reaction; "It's okay teacher, I will not bother you again!!"
Student went away.
Teacher's reaction; blur.
Moral of the story; I need a MENTOR!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Just A Gleam
I pulled you up when you were down,
I made a joke when you started to frown.
I questioned when you were not around,
I mended your heart when you fell to the ground.
So when you go a little further,
take your time to think of me.
When your luck has gotten better,
give a piece of gleam to me.
After nearly a year of silence, collecting pieces of memories, perhaps it is time to share some.
A pat on the back for those who have made a difference in others' lives.
I made a joke when you started to frown.
I questioned when you were not around,
I mended your heart when you fell to the ground.
So when you go a little further,
take your time to think of me.
When your luck has gotten better,
give a piece of gleam to me.
A pat on the back for those who have made a difference in others' lives.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Life
Fear not my friend of what to come,
Tomorrow the sun will be your charm,
A promising day upon your palm,
Arise you stand and breathe so calm,
Life twirls inside our mind,
Some are harsh and some are kind,
Some shut us down and make us blind,
Kill the faith as far behind,
Make way my friend, for hope is there,
Life is nothing that we should swear,
Thoughts of happiness everywhere,
Memories and love for us to share,
If what has written upon our fate,
A shortcut to the pain and hate,
Shall we cherish without regret,
For the journey has been made great.
Maher Zain - Insyaallah
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Sunday, July 10, 2011
Forever Admiring
If only you knew that I like you,
what could it be?
That is something that I could not see.
If only you knew how your laughter
has taken away my misery.
Then you would know you have made me happy.
There are some things in life
I could not reveal.
Like the feelings that I have kept sealed.
How long should I remain silent
in a world so loud and busy?
Till the day you will never notice me.
Admiring Secretly
Is Keeping
Retaining Admiration
Ultimate Never
Likeness Destroy
Any
Relationship
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Kesusahan
Kesusahan adalah satu pemberian
Tanpa keperitan, tiada tangisan
Tiada penilaian antara kebaikan dan keburukan
Kesusahan ibarat satu cabaran
Teguh apabila hampir runtuh
Cekal apabila kecewa
Bangun apabila jatuh
Sabar apabila dihina
dan gigih menempuh seruanNya
Kesusahan adalah sementara
Disamping mencari jalan yang penuh simpangnya
Kesusahan adalah pedoman
supaya hidup lebih bermakna
Tanpa keperitan, tiada tangisan
Tiada penilaian antara kebaikan dan keburukan
Kesusahan ibarat satu cabaran
Teguh apabila hampir runtuh
Cekal apabila kecewa
Bangun apabila jatuh
Sabar apabila dihina
dan gigih menempuh seruanNya
Kesusahan adalah sementara
Disamping mencari jalan yang penuh simpangnya
Kesusahan adalah pedoman
supaya hidup lebih bermakna
Friday, July 8, 2011
A Mother's Love
This poem was inspired from the poem 'Waiting For The Moment' and also Pn. Khatijah bt Ali (PK Koku, SMK Tmn Setiawangsa) as she wrote a Malay version entitled, 'Kasih Ibu' and requested that I wrote an English version. Just trying to have fun with words.
A Mother's Love
Excited and anxious, feelings of joy.
No words to utter,
just faces and laughter.
Now that you are here, the bond unites.
The love is stronger,
as we walk together.
Our generations prolong, with the blood in your veins.
May we forever remain,
forever strong as a chain.
The day you started to speak,
reminds me of your motions and kick.
The emotions I carry,
will always be cherished dearly.
You are the soul, that enlightens my life.
One day you will fly, spread your wings up high.
And my love and affection, till death, will not die.
Written 8 July 2011.
A Mother's Love
Excited and anxious, feelings of joy.
No words to utter,
just faces and laughter.
Now that you are here, the bond unites.
The love is stronger,
as we walk together.
Our generations prolong, with the blood in your veins.
May we forever remain,
forever strong as a chain.
The day you started to speak,
reminds me of your motions and kick.
The emotions I carry,
will always be cherished dearly.
You are the soul, that enlightens my life.
One day you will fly, spread your wings up high.
And my love and affection, till death, will not die.
Written 8 July 2011.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
You are my goal.
I never speak of who I am. A wife, a mother, a normal human being. But a teacher is who I really am. I've gone through a lot of obstacles in my life. Life is never what we expected. I teach because I care. There's nothing more I want but to see my students succeed. Whether you are excellent, average or novice, I'll guide you as much as I can.
I might not show that I care. I might not be your favourite teacher. I might be too sarcastic that you hate me so much. But I never meant to hurt anyone. Never do I have the intention to pull you down. All my life I face challenges. Those challenges are the only one keeping me going. We will only fail if we stop trying, stop believing. I will never stop teaching or believing that anyone can be successful.
You'll still young and you haven't seen what I have seen. You haven't tasted what I have tasted and you haven't experienced what I have experienced. I am for what I am. I will never give up. The more stubborn you are, the more I'll criticize. Never look down on yourself. Face up and proof to me you'll one of the best. You will be the best.
I do not come to bet, I come to gamble. I do not consider myself a loser, I am a competitor. Whether I lose or whether I win, I never regret for trying. You should feel that way too.
I do not talk, I listen. I do not look, I observe. I keep my distance because life teaches me that way. But in my silence I have my goal. You are my goal. As you succeed, I might not jump in joy but I float in the air!
I might not show that I care. I might not be your favourite teacher. I might be too sarcastic that you hate me so much. But I never meant to hurt anyone. Never do I have the intention to pull you down. All my life I face challenges. Those challenges are the only one keeping me going. We will only fail if we stop trying, stop believing. I will never stop teaching or believing that anyone can be successful.
You'll still young and you haven't seen what I have seen. You haven't tasted what I have tasted and you haven't experienced what I have experienced. I am for what I am. I will never give up. The more stubborn you are, the more I'll criticize. Never look down on yourself. Face up and proof to me you'll one of the best. You will be the best.
I do not come to bet, I come to gamble. I do not consider myself a loser, I am a competitor. Whether I lose or whether I win, I never regret for trying. You should feel that way too.
I do not talk, I listen. I do not look, I observe. I keep my distance because life teaches me that way. But in my silence I have my goal. You are my goal. As you succeed, I might not jump in joy but I float in the air!
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