Water Moments

This might not be a story of me but it is indeed a water experience.  My little boy Adam was then 2 years old.  Unfortunately, he was so afraid of the water.

Last year I went to a beach for the holiday.  It was supposed to be a fun day at the beach.  My two girls were enjoying themselves.

My husband and I wanted to join in but little Adam was so afraid of losing us so he  held us tightly in his arms.  We even had to stay off shore, far away from the water.  So you could imagine not being able to even play in the sand.  Adam was restless.  He kept looking at his sisters and crying out loud to tell them not to go into the water.  He was even petrified to see the big waves.


Well, that was one of the moments.  Then, our next vacation was going to a water park since going to nature was out of the list.  We wanted to try something without the waves.  The Lost World of Tambun.  The name itself shows how exciting and adventurous this place is.  The children area was wonderful.  Makes me think, why was there no such theme park during my childhood!

My girls were anxious to explore the pirate ship and sliding into the water.  However, again my little Adam was restless.  Even in still water.  Oh! I could not even enjoy a dip in the water.  Again I was forbidden from entering or even going near the water.  Then I realised what was bothering him.

It was this big flash that a barrel made.  When the barrel is full, it will turn over and splash everyone belows it.  That is fun.  I imagined myself being under the barrel.  Imagining it to be a waterfall.  How refreshing.  Well, of course I could only imagine since I have to comfort my little boy in my arms.  Anyway, it was a nice try.

After awhile, we stop going to places with water.  But, my apartment has a swimming pool and every time we try to make him swim, he will scream.  We bought a turtle float, a ship, a ball and even an arm float for him.  Just to make him feel  comfortable.  I even bought a small pump up pool for him in the bathroom.  He enjoyed the pool in the bathroom and I slowly lured him into trying the big pool.  Then one fine day, my husband and I showed him how wonderful it is to swim in the pool.  And suddenly, he actually agreed to try the big pool.  Unexpectedly, he enjoyed himself and I couldn't get him out of the pool!!!  Who would have known, all the trouble of going to nature, when all I needed was just the pool at home.

Can I trust you?

Trust used to be a valuable word.  Throughout the years, the belief in trust slowly fades away.  Sincerity is strongly related to trust.  We believe that we can talk to a friend, share our problems and experience moments together.  However, the sincerity takes a different turn.  Sometimes we sincerely want to help others but end up being the victim.  Thus people do not trust us anymore.  Sometimes we think we are like brothers and sisters but due to the absent of the mind, people stab us from the back.  Again, we ended being hurt.  Certainly it is not the back that hurts the most but the pure heart that is really hard to mend.  Some would isolate us thinking that we are the enemy where as we do not have a clue on what is going on.

So, like I ever mentioned before in my entry, in a world full of lies, it is indeed best to trust in ourselves.  We befriend but put a boundary to the discussions.  We socialize but stop when we think we are moving too far.  We share but not everything.  And most of all, in that 'trust', we must always put a smile because no matter how, a smile can always soothe a soul.

Am I still pretty in your eyes?

Another 20 years from now,
will I be pretty in your eyes?
Will I be what you always dream?
Or will I fade in just a glimpse?


Another 30 years from now,
will I be pretty in your eyes?
If I talk a bit too loud,
will you hide among the crowd?

Another 40 years from now,
if we ever live that long,
will you still sing my favourite song,
hold my hands and walk along.

And as the years passed by our way,
through the obstacles each night and day,
could your heart tell me no lies,
Am I still pretty in your eyes?

written on 19.10.10 (10.15am)

Awake

   I'm a dreamer.  I dream too much.  Sometimes I forget that I have a real world to live in .  I always wish.  Wish for dreams to come true.  Dreams that sometimes do not make sense.  But once in awhile I open my eyes. I suddenly realised, I have been missing a lot of things.  I forgot to enjoy life.  I forgot to be thankful and be blessed.  Sometimes it is good to dream but too much dreaming can make us float.  Floating in the sky, you can only see blue skies and white clouds.  Nothing much to see or admire.  My feet touches the ground and I can see what is around me.  Beauty, love and blessings.  I am forever a dreamer.  Forever is a long time but life is unpredictable.  Forever can end tomorrow.  So I will change.  I not only want to float, but I would like to feel the ground too.  I would like to open my eyes, say I love you, give a hug, walk with you, hold your hands, laugh and cry with you.. yes.. I do!!

" Would you still love me if I were old and saggy? Would you still love me if I were young and had acne? When I'm afraid of what's under the bed? Or if I end up wetting the bed?"
Quoted from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Ad-din

Islam as a way of life.  I was introduced to this when I had to write on it during matriculation.  It was a topic I was not familiar with.  However, through my experience in friendship and looking at my surroundings, surprisingly I managed to score an A in my writing.  I remembered some of my points that I mentioned and somehow agreed on Ad-din.  My point was really simple.  When you think about it, Islam is very fair.  I mentioned about attending 'haji'.  How do you know that it is fair?  Even though you are rich or poor, everyone will wear the same uniform or clothes.  And it is only a piece of white coloured cloth.  No patterns, no lace and no fancy diamonds on it.  You can never differentiate the rich and the poor.  Doesn't that show Islam is fair?

I also mentioned about death.  Again, whether you are rich or poor, when death comes, everyone is buried the same way.  You will be wrapped in a white cotton cloth, again, no expensive coffin, no beautiful clothes, no fancy tomb.  Just the body and the soil, back where it belongs.  So, doesn't that show Islam is fair?

Thus, at that point, I agreed Islam as a way of life.  However, I also mentioned that the only disappointment is, although Islam is so beautiful, the people are ugly.  Why?  Everything that is mentioned in Islam is for the good of its followers.  However, the people do not practise what they preach.  So do not blame Islam for all the wrong doings but the people who do not follow what is stated in the teaching of Islam.

Today, when I think back of the points that I have written, I merely would like to share my thoughts of the problems we face nowadays.  At work my colleagues and I were discussing on sex education.  I was attracted to one of my colleagues' point regarding the differences between a Muslim and a non-Muslim teenager.

I am no angel.  I too have wrong doings that only Allah can forgive.  However, as someone who has gone through quite a lot of obstacles in life, I wish I could be more open-minded to the Muslim teenagers.  They do not know what they are missing.  Islam is so great.  You do not see people making a fool of themselves after getting drunk all day and all night.  You do not show almost all parts of your body to people and feel great of exposing it to them.  You do not have a social life that is beyond your control.  Why?  Because you have Islam to guide you.

So, 'people'.  Do not spoil the beauty of Islam.  I am not a racist, nor am I a rebellious in religion.  It is just that my previous experience has taught me a lot of lessons.  If I think back, I do not want to go there again.  I love where I am now and I am grateful for where I am now.  These 'people' should be too.

I have no intention of hurting any feelings for I am far a novice in religion.  I have much to learn and am just a simple person, who choose Islam, as my way of life.

P.S. I love you

Another draft that had never been posted.

I was relaxing on the couch watching the repeated story in Astro entitled, 'P.S. I love you'.  What happens when death comes earlier than we expected?  In the movie, the husband prepared lots of letters to the wife in order to help her to move on with her life after his death.

Sometimes it makes me think of life itself.  My life is my children.  I think of them almost every second and hope to be with them forever.  I hope I can see them till they grow up and finally have a life of their own.  Unfortunately, the future is not for me to foresee.

A few days ago, my daughter was being scolded and she is the emotional type.  When I came to comfort her, she mentioned that she does not mind being scolded but she is afraid of losing us, her parents.  It touches my heart.  At a very young age, she could think of death. Kids sure grow up very fast nowadays.  And I sure am getting old.

If death does come earlier, I sure have a lot of sins!!!

I'm back and I'm a catcher!!

I have not written for quite some time.  My schedule has been very tight lately.  When I opened my blog today, I realized I had some drafts that I have not posted.  Perhaps after this I will have time to update my blog for I miss writing and sharing my thoughts.

I knew why I did not post the draft.  I have been thinking about the entry.  I wanted to express my grief but have not had the chance.  It is regarding the sadist act of irresponsible people who are willing to kill and throw away their offspring.

What is happening to the world?  As a human being, I try to understand everyone's feelings.  Perhaps through understand their feelings, there will be an answer.  If those who are killing these babies are youngsters, perhaps it is because of the lifestyle. To be cool is to be up-to-date.  Up-to-date means acting, dressing and even talking like  the westerns.  Up-to-date means to be open-minded.  Open-minded means accepting without rejecting.  So when someone wants to hold hands, you are cool and open-minded.  When someone is being kissed and doing extra actions, you are in trend.  If not, you are a loser.  So every teenagers want to be cool and up-to-date .  Thus they forget the outcome.  

What happens when they suddenly get pregnant?  Where are the adults?  Some would ask their daughters to do abortion.  That is when we hear all the negative news.  Teenagers get cheated by their boyfriends.  Boyfriends who do not want to be responsible.  Teenagers are too afraid of telling their parents because some teenagers are too good to be true.  Parents will defend their daughters and will never think their daughters will do such irresponsible action.

A school has now been opened for pregnant youngsters.  A lot disagree.  Some, like myself, think that there could be a wise reason for such action. Perhaps the youngsters just do not know what to do.  Thus, giving them the support they need and giving them space could reduce the lost of innocent offspring.

It's a cruel world out there.  Family is what everyone needs and if that family falls down, who will be the catcher? 

Penenang Hati

Ya Allah..
Indahnya ciptaanMu
Ku pejam mata,
namun bayangan sang mentari bersinar megah didepanku.
Keindahan bukit bukau yang menghijau
Menenangkan jiwaku yang tenggelam di lautan api.
Gelagat manusia bermacam ragam
Runtuh akhlak bangkitnya kuasa
Kuasa racun segala kejahatan
Mata kabur ditaburkan wang
Keluarga ribut dilanda harta
Namun dengan wujudnya alam semesta
Penenang hati yang penuh luka
CiptaanMu yang maha esa
Aku bertaubat berlinangkan air mata
Ampunkan dosaku di alam nyata dan fana
Supaya ku hidup tiada menderita
Ku syukur Allah nan satu
Dengan segala pemberianMu
Semoga jiwa dan hatiku
sentiasa tenang dibawah ajaranMu.
Amin...

Hasil nukilan 29 Mei 2006

Soon

Can't wait to see you.
Can't wait to touch you.
Can't wait to know you
and stuck to you like glue.

I am anxious to hug you.
Anxious to kiss you.
I am anxious to love you.
Like every mother would do.

I could feel you kicking.
I could feel you moving.
I could feel you stretching.
Just can't wait to see you yawning.

Can't wait to hear you crying.
Can't wait to see you smiling.
Each day the minutes are ticking.
Each tick is my heart beating.

We share the same feeling.
You and me combining.
But soon I'll have you sleeping,
in my arms with love and blessing.

(Sweet Adam's birthday last tuesday.  Poem written during pregnancy 9 June 2007)

Penantian

Keindahan,
bukan hanya dari pandangan mata.
Keindahan boleh juga disentuh, dirasa.

Kekecewaan,
tidak bermaksud kita hampa.
Namun menambahkan semangat membara.

Kesakitan,
tidak semua yang merasa.
Jiwa sengsara, kepada yang Esa kita bertaqwa.

Kegembiraan,
boleh dikongsi bersama.
Senyum ketawa melapangkan dada.

Kesedihan,
hanya satu mainan minda.
Tidak dikawal, hancur jiwa dan raga.

Negaraku

Pagi tadi Majlis Perlantikan Pengawas 2010/2011.  Sebelum itu, perhimpunan rasmi dijalankan seperti biasa.  Apabila mula saja nyanyian Negaraku, itu dia, ada pelajar yang menguap entah berapa ratus kali.  Ada yang berdiri senget sebab kali sebelah tempang.  Ada yang mula main mata dengan kaum sejenis. Siap berbalas-balas senyuman.  Ada satu pelajar tu lagilah bagus.  Dia memang berdiri tegak tetapi tangannya ibarat memukul 'drum' mengikut rentak lagu Negaraku.  Bersemangat betul pelajar-pelajar menghayati lagu kebangsaan kita ini.

Saya nak berkongsi cerita zaman sekolah.  Masa tu masih sekolah rendah.  Saya masuk PBSM.  Kalau tak silap ada perhimpunan untuk semua ahli PBSM dari semua sekolah. Menteri pun ada agaknya sebab ada banyak 'camera men'. Semasa kami berdiri tegak menyanyikan Negaraku, tiba-tiba orang di belakang mencuit-cuit tangan saya.  Bila dah tak tahan sebab dia asyik mengganggu, saya tolehlah ke belakang untuk sekejap aje.  Tapi malang tak berbau.  Nasib tidak menyebelahi saya.  Keesokkan harinya, muka saya keluar di surat khabar dan komen di situ menyatakan bahawa ada pelajar yang tidak menghormati lagu Negaraku.  Nasib baiklah belakang je yang nampak, bukan muka.  Kalau tidak malulah mak bapa tengok muka saya yang tidak menghormati lagu itu.

Satu lagi pengalaman Negaraku semasa saya di tingkatan menengah atas.  Kami disuruh pergi ke Kem Bina Semangat selama 3 hari.  Setiap pagi kami akan bangun awal dan berbaris di padang untuk menyanyikan lagu Negaraku.  Tempatnya macam hutan dan semestinya pagi-pagi banyak nyamuk.  Semasa berdiri tegak, saya dan beberapa orang kawan tidak dapat menahan kegatalan digigit nyamuk.  Dalam kegelapan itu, kami diam-diam menggaru.  Malangnya, mata fasilitator kami sangat tajam.  Kami dipanggil ke hadapan dan pagi itu juga berpeluang mencium tiang bendera.  Tak cukup dengan itu, kami disuruh berendam di dalam kolam dan air mesti berada di paras dagu kami.  Kolam itu memang wangi dengan kura-kura menjadi teman.  Apabila keluar daripada air, badan pun ibarat Michael Jackson tengah menari.

Semua pengalaman ini menjadikan kita lebih berdisiplin.  Sedangkan semasa World Cup setiap pemain bersemangat menyanyikan lagu kebangsaan masing-masing sebelum permainan dimulakan.  Pelajar pula semasa menyanyikan lagu Negaraku tidak ada semangat cintakan negara.   Tengok bola nombor satu tapi tak menerapkan semangat cintakan tanah air yang diterapkan oleh pemain.  Kalau zaman saya sekolah dulu, kalau nyanyi macam sampah, kami disuruh menyanyi berulang kali sampailah para guru berpuas hati.  Tak cukup dengan tu, 'public caning' masih dibenarkan dan pelajar akan dirotan jika tidak bersemangat.  Bila fikir balik, semua ini untuk kebaikan diri sendiri supaya lebih berdisiplin.

Kalaulah kita anak bangsa, berdirilah tegak.  Bukan lama pun.  Sekejap aje.  Bersemangatlah menyanyikan Negaraku.






 

About love

Teenage life is over.  Being matured is not an easy task or role to play.  Being a teenager, life was all about fun and love.  Lovers come and lovers go.  Perhaps that is the circle of love.  As I received my key of freedom, I learnt that problems involving love is the most difficult to solve.  Not only does it play with the heart, but it also affects the mind.  Psychologically, people especially teenagers, go crazy over it and throughout the end of the day, they ended up frustrated.  Some intend in committing suicide.  Yet still, many say that love is wonderful.  What wonders does it bring when it makes people suffer in vain?  Shakespeare should change his quotation to, 'To love or not to love.  That is the question!'.

When someone gets hook in love, the world becomes a gloomy place for the dead to live.  Heart-breakers shut themselves in their rooms, crying their hearts out and not wanting to eat a single food to fill the empty stomach.  Starvation is the solution.  Then again, perhaps that is why love is great, for it is able to control the human actions and minds.

Teenagers always desire to feel love.  No doubt it is great in the beginning until everything is over.  The heart is crushed like grapes turned into wine.  Teenagers feel confuse on what to do with their life since love is over.  Pain is all they feel and running away from everyone is the best solution.  However, we must always keep our faith in Allah and ourselves.. At times we forget the presence of Allah.  Putting aside the one who gives us the soul, the body and the mind, the ability to breathe air and most of all to feel love.  Yet people lose hope in faith.  Failure does not come by itself if one does not seek for it.

When will love ever stop?  Love pulls you up and then it also brings you down.  Once it is beautiful, then it turns ugly.  Will all these ever end where love will remain forever?  Even in marriage the unlucky ones will end up in divorce.  Love is a destroyer, not a builder.

BUT BEWARE...
these are only the thoughts of failures and losers.  A person with strong faith and strength will look upon the failure to love and be loved as an experience of life and a mistake that can be corrected and not be repeated.  Those who lost their husbands and wives in a divorce or lovers who broke up after years of togetherness, fear not of loving again.  The world will never stop from a stormy weather.  If anyone wants to explore the world, one does not have to wait until the rain stops.  Just go outside and look at the wonders of nature.  Believe in whatever you want to do and not what others want you to do.  In a world full of lies, there is nothing more wonderful than to trust in yourself.

Mum, Dad and.... Me?

Today was 'Open Day' for parents to get their children's report card.  I am the form teacher of an average class.  Almost everyone in the class was present including one boy who has been absent for some time.  I was anxious to meet all their parents so I sent message to every parents to remind them to come.

It was indeed satisfying to be able to speak with the parents.  Most of them were frustrated with the results but I was more interested in one boy whom before this always attracts my attention.  He is a nice boy and with a little bit of brushing, could one day be successful.  However, he comes from a sad background.  Now, being brought up by her single mother, he and his siblings are very independent and caring for each other.

His mother started explaining her situation when I told her that her son was always late to school and she claimed it was her fault because she asked him to send her sister to school first.  She also explained that sometimes he comes home crying when he was caught late and his explanation was not accepted by the teachers.  I understand and feel sorry for him.

If I was not thinking of the other parents queuing in line, I would have sat there patiently listening to his mother's problems and expression.  Sometimes we think that our life is difficult but when we hear others whose life is even more difficult than us, we wish we could help them in any way we can.  They might be poor but they are rich when they have each other.

Listening to his mother, I want to share this poem once written for a friend I knew whose husband cheated on her and married another woman.

Twilight Zone

Why love fades over the years?
Like a colourful cloth that lose its colour
Marriage is a tie to live forever
but lust is a destroyer that clutches to lovers

If marriage is pure as we first uttered
Why tears of joy turn tears of horror?
Why can't the rainbow stay?
To add beauty to the day

Why can't the sun shines forever?
No rainy days and stormy weather
Why can't the stars twinkle all night?
Combine with the moon to keep us bright

I wish I am beautiful, everlasting in your eyes
I wish you'll say 'I love you', till the day I close my eyes
I wish we walk together, in every path of our lives
I wish we cherish each other, face all obstacles that lie

What magic does love bring?
If the nightingale stops to sing
How are family supposed to cling?
When spouses are now trampling

Please Allah, give me strength
Put a short cut to this length
What decision should I take?
To keep me living, believing and loving, for goodness sake.

written on 23 May 2006

Shopping experience

Yesterday, my neighbour called early in the morning asking for my help.  In one month, a new life will be born.  Preparation is still incomplete.  So, my friend asked me to accompany her shopping for baby stuff.  How could I refuse a request from a pregnant mother?!  Of course I said yes.  Besides, when it comes to window shopping, count me in!

When I was just looking around in the shop, it was tempting!  The cute small footwear, the colourful blankets and all the beautiful clothes, ohhhh.... I'm speechless.  Why were there no such beautiful baby stuff during my pregnancy long time ago?!  I would have bought all these stuff.  Plus, almost everything is on sale.

See it for yourself.  Bumble Bee Baby Products are simply tempting:
Wash Cloth and Blankets
Fanciful Footwear

Nowadays there are so many baby attires.  There are even beautiful and colourful poncho for breastfeeding. I can't remember seeing all these things during my time of pregnancy.  However, I feel rather sad because I could not join in this baby shopping extravaganza.  I can just help my friend pick some nice accessories.

When I reached home, I kept thinking about the fun yet tiring part of searching for baby stuff.  Even though part of me love the idea of being pregnant, when I think deep about it, I think my decision of having only 3 wonderful kids is satisfying enough.

To comfort myself, I kept telling myself to wait 20 years for my kids to get married and I'll be a grandmother, busy shopping for my grandchildren.  Hahaha.. Insya-Allah...

A Great Encouragement

I recently got a book entitled, 'Encouragement changes everything' by John C. Maxwell.  The book is merely telling us that we need encouragement in life.  Just a little bit of encouragement could change one's life to be better.

In the chapter Encouraging the Encourager, Dick Vermeil, a former American head coach, contacted the author only to tell him that he has been reading and admiring his work.  The author claimed, 'It was a real privilege to chat with him.  That kind of encouragement can energize a person for a long time!'.

John then mentioned, 'Take some time to contact someone who has encouraged you.  Let the person know what his or her work has meant to you.  Everybody needs encouragement!'

I would like to quote another of John's statement that somehow reminded me of a person.  'I had mentioned that when I read an excellent book and I take away a lot from it, I jot a note to the author to say thank you and let him or her know what the work meant to me.  All teachers want to hear that their work is making a difference'.

As a teacher, sometimes we say many things to our students.  We can't even remember what we say or when we say it.  However, I think it was the year 2004 or 2005, I was at the school field.  I don't remember what I was doing there but somehow there were many students.  One of the students whom I never taught but recognized, brought an album full with beautiful pictures taken by himself.  He was interested in photography and his parents own a photo shop.

Anyway, I remembered pointing at one picture which I really like.  And I think I was really admiring his work, sincerely.  As time passed, it was the month of May and we celebrated teacher's day.  To my surprised, the boy, whom I've never taught, came to my desk and gave me a present.  I thanked him of course but did not open it right away.  I think when I went home, I unwrapped the gift and was extremely surprised to see the exact picture that I love the most in his album, placed in a nice photo frame.

I think I never did tell him how much that picture reflects my life as a teacher.  It was not about getting the gift that touches my heart but merely the act of remembering me.  Only by giving me that picture, he made me realised that I'm not invisible and someone is actually listening to me.  At times you think students ignore you but I believe that there will be a year when another student will appreciate a teacher's hard work.  That indeed will be another great encouragement.

A picture of the Sarawak river taken by the photographer, Chai Jui Khiong.

Beradab atau Biadab

Baru balik bercuti.  Tempatnya takdelah jauh sangat.  Pergi Melaka je.  Tapi Melaka sekarang ni memang sangat cantik.  Terutama malam hari.  Malangnya bila pergi tanpa dirancang, maka terlupa nak periksa kamera ada bateri ke tak.  Jadi kenangan kat sana hanya dalam ingatan jelah.  Cuma satu dua gambar je boleh diambik menggunakan handphone.  Kira oklah.

Namun cerita yang nak dijadikan pengajaran ni, pasal mentaliti rakyat Malaysia.  Kadang-kala pasal duit, manusia ni sanggup buat apa saja termasuk bersikap kurang ajar.  Saya rasa itulah perkataan yang paling sesuai digunakan.

Ceritanya bermula dengan semangat yang beriya-iya nak menunjukkan A Famosa kepada anak-anak.  Dari hotel asyik sebut je dan itulah destinasi pertama yang nak dituju.  Mula-mulanya seronok betul walaupun panas terik dan peluh menitik-nitik bak air terjun, namun kepenatan mendaki tangga-tangga hingga ke puncak, hilang dengan pandangan bandar Melaka yang sungguh indah.  

Sampai saja di puncak, kami terus masuk ke dalam bangunan yang dah uzur tu.  Sebelum masuk kami dapat mendengar bunyi petikkan gitar dan suara yang sungguh merdu.  Apabila melangkah masuk, beberapa orang pengunjung sedang khusyuk mendengar dendangan lagu.  Anak-anak ni memanglah tak berminat, terus berlari ke dalam lagi.  Sambil berjalan ke arah anak-anak, ada seorang perempuan tengah mengambil gambar penyanyi.  Dari jauh penyanyi sempat berhenti menyanyi dan berpesan tangkap gambar RM2.00.  Perempuan tu macam terkejut ada juga tapi tetap menghulurkan duit.  

Saya dan suami teruskan perjalanan ke bahagian dalam A Famosa sebab anak-anak banyak soal.  Nak ambil gambar pun, kamera tak ada.  Itulah cuma handphone untuk kenangan anak-anak.  Bila anak-anak dah puas, kami pun nak keluarlah dari situ. Semasa tu memang kami je yang tinggal kat situ dan lagu tetap berkumandang.  Apabila kaki melangkah keluar je, tiba-tiba lirik lagu yang begitu cantik tadi berubah.  Liriknya berbunyi begini, "kalau tak nak bagi duit, boleh baliklah".  Dan bunyi gitar pun berhenti.  

Aduh!!  Punyalah menyirapnya saya dan suami.  Beginikah caranya kita nak menarik pelancong?  Sedangkan sesetengah orang mungkin datang ke puncak tu untuk melihat struktur bangunan, melihat sejarah kita dan bukannya sekadar nak dengar dia orang menyanyi.  Lagipun A Famosa tu milik dia orang ke?!  Boleh dikatakan sampai turun dari bukit tu mulut ni masih membebellah.  Memang spoil mood orang je.  Baru puji Melaka tiba-tiba dapat pulak layanan macam tu.  

Pada pendapat saya, tempat-tempat bersejarah seperti ini tidak patut ada penghibur-penghibur yang kurang ajar.  Kalau nak cari rezeki pun, biarlah ikhlas.  Kalau macam tu, buat kaunter sebelum masuk ke A Famosa.  Bayaran untuk mendengar lagu yang didendangkan semasa menikmati keindahan bangunan lama itu.  Barulah puas hati.  

Apa-apapun, disebabkan Melaka memang tempat yang sangat indah, maka hatiku tidaklah kecewa sangat.  Tapi yang pastinya, kalau bercadang nak ke Melaka lagi, saya takkan ke A Famosa.

From the bottom of my heart

I never did had the chance to thank
And I surely never did manage to apologize
I hope it is not too late, though the ship has already sank
Give me the chance to present your prize

I cannot repay you by giving gold
Not even diamonds or full of cash
But I will surely give you my soul
If you needed it in a flash

I never meant to make you upset
I never meant to spoil your dreams
I wanted to be someone so great
Someone who gives you a bit of gleam

The sun that gives me light is you
The hand that pulls me up is you
Forgive me for what you have gone through
But please accept my forever thank you.

Written on 30th November 2003 and specially dedicated to my beloved daddy...

Happy Father's Day

My Holiday

Holiday season is back.  Nothing much in plan.  I heard friends are going elsewhere for the holiday.  Some going back to their hometowns.  Some have gone overseas and some just enjoying the beauty of Malaysia.

With work in the way, I think I will just stay at home.  It has not been a holiday for me yet because on Tuesday I had been going to school.  The exciting part of the day is I finally finished marking my papers and filling marks to my students' report cards.  Unfortunately, the principal did not bring the key to our computer room where we are supposed to key in our class marks.  So, on Wednesday I had to come to school again to do the unfinished job.  Besides that, I managed to complete a quarter of my moral work whereby one of it is I  had to go to my student's house to collect his folio and brought half of the work home since I have been told that next week our files will be inspected by people from JPWP.

On Thursday, I think I will still be going to school to settle more work.  I expect to complete my Moral files by Friday and continue my never ending task by bringing my co-curriculum work back home after that.  Most of my friends are in school too.  However, they came for an extra class with the students.  My extra class will be next week.  Basically, my schedule is tight.

In my previous entry, I did mention a timetable to manage my time wisely.  It seems that I still do not have a timetable but I think I managed to plan a few things this holiday.  It might not be someone's favourite vacation but a trip to the school is good enough!  (It is not costly.  You get to enjoy the quietness sitting in the staff room by yourself. You don't have to pay for the electricity.  And most of all... you get your job done!!  Satisfaction guaranteed)

Setitik Budi, Segunung Intan

Baru lepas menonton tv dan tiba-tiba berinspirasi untuk menulis.  TV2 menayangkan drama menarik tentang seorang mualaf yang menghadapi banyak dugaan dalam hidupnya.  Setelah menjadi saudara baru, suami meninggal dunia dan anak pula menghadapi masalah hati yang memerlukan pembedahan, penderma dan bantuan kewangan.  Yang menyentuh perasaan apabila mentua dan ibu bapa sendiri tidak membantu.  Hanya seorang pakcik tua yang sudi membantunya dengan doa yang tidak pernah putus.

Ibu bapa memainkan peranan yang penting dalam hidup anak-anaknya.  Setiap yang kita lakukan dalam hidup ini, semestinya direstu oleh ibu dan bapa.  Doa mereka amat bermakna.  Oleh itu, janganlah kita menyakiti hati mereka.

Ini juga mengingatkan diriku sendiri sebagai seorang ibu.  Kadang-kala kita juga harus berhati-hati apabila berkata kerana setiap perkataan yang terkeluar dari mulut ibarat doa untuk anak-anak.  Maka haruslah kita mengeluarkan kata-kata yang baik.  Haruslah kita mendoakan yang terbaik untuk mereka kerana walau terguris sekali pun hati kita, mereka tetap anak.

Kekecewaan

Kata orang..
Hidup tidak bermakna
tanpa restu ibu dan bapa.
Tapi,
apakan daya,
pengampunan tugas yang maha Esa.
Berbudi dan berbahasa
Masih diri tidak diterima.
Dosa yang lampau
igauan selamanya.

Kata orang..
Syurga di telapak kaki ibu.
Kemaafan dipinta supaya bersatu.
Namun jiwaku sedih dan pilu,
keluarga berkecai terbinalah kubu.
Sedih..
Siapa yang tahu?
Kepada yang Esa aku menuju
Bukalah hati orang tuaku
Selami jiwaku yang penuh syahdu.

Nukilan 9 Jun 2006

Something To Remember

How do you know the world is fair?
Every words have their pairs.
When there is big, there will be small
When there is short, there will be tall.

Some are rich but live in sigh
Some are poor but full of delight.
Thus man should know that death shall come
And live life now forever calm.

written on 30th October 2002

Being organised!!

It has been nearly two weeks I left my blog.  Where have I gone?  Time.  Time is my barrier.  Sometimes I think 24 hours is not enough.  The workload at school are hectic.  Try to think about it, perhaps it is I who could not manage my time properly.  I postponed my work until everything seems to pile up.  Papers to mark, extra classes and meetings to attend, documentations due, data to key in, observation to be prepared, and those are only for half the day.  Another half for fetching kids from school, settling house chores, replying emails, updating Facebook and blog!  I'm busier than the prime minister.  When the work is as high as a mountain, I lost my focus.  My vision is blur.  The mountain is too high, I could not see what is behind it.  I think I need a timetable.

Yes.. I really think that is a very wise solution.  I can organize my time carefully.  As a teacher, I always advise students to have a timetable to divide their study time and play time equally.  Unfortunately, it seems that I am in a mess myself.  A big whirl that has no starting line.  When will I start this timetable?  Getting started is another task.  Oh my.. I think I just added another workload.

Help!!!  Anyone?  

My World

Nobody is perfect in this world.  Everyone makes mistakes.  Whether it is small or big ones, we can never run from doing mistakes in life.  However, with one silly mistake, we should not be demotivated to continue our dream and proceed with our aim.  Sometimes we try our best to say the right word, instead people perceive it differently.  We just cannot please everyone.  The only person getting hurt is us.  


The world is fair.  Do not feel down just because people look down on you.  Do not be sad just because people talk bad about you.  Do not be angry just because people make fun of you.  But move on.  If you keep on listening to others, who will listen to your heart.  You!  

You make the world go round!

Catastrophe Part 2

Today is the third day of the water shortage.  Yesterday I was telling about how people were rushing to get water and how precious the water is until everyone is keeping it for themselves.  Well, tonight, and perhaps more exhausting nights to come, things will be different.  Here you can see the 1Malaysia residents co-operating among ourselves to fill, carry and distribute water.  Though we sweat a lot and yes, we smell... but, we're still helping each other and most of all, we're still smiling!!! 

                                                       

  The residents helping each other.

            

    My two girls waiting for the man to fill our pail.

Residents going towards the lift.

Residents queueing and waiting patiently for the one and only lift.  The one in the middle with red shirt is the president, reminding everyone to help each other.

 My cute little pail I was telling you about.  So it was a two to three times trip up and down the stairs.

Oh yes.. the lovely mothers supporting their husbands in carrying the pails.

Still have time to pause for the camera.  That's me with my good neighbours.

My innocent little boy thinking he can play in the water.

 And finally, this is the water for emergency cases!!

Catastrophe

      It has been two days our condominium faces water shortage.  On the first day, we all jumped into the swimming pool to have a dip.  We thought it will be temporary and by evening or night fall, the water supply will be back to normal.  Unfortunately that dip in the pool was our bath.  That night, from my kitchen, I saw people bringing large buckets and trolleys at the lift.  By the way, to make matters worse, only one lift was working.  The other was short circuit.  So you can imagine everyone from the ground to the 16th floor waiting for one lift.
     Anyway, when I saw my neighbour bringing the buckets, I told my husband about it.  He said that everyone was filling their buckets with pool water.  Then, near to midnight, I heard noises on the ground floor.  Lucky for me, my house is just on the second floor.  Again, I told my husband and persuaded him to get some pool water for toilet use only.  We went down with only three cute small size buckets. Really not prepared of such disaster.  Anyway, we use the stairs since the lift was very slow as it stopped at almost every floor.  To my surprise, there were so many people with all sizes of buckets full with water, waiting for the lift.  The floor was all wet and slippery.
    When we wanted to go to the pool, there it was the Syabas water tank truck.  The man there was asking us to be fast because the truck was about to go.  At that point, I was quite frustrated that nobody informed us.  I think the management must get a hailer to inform the residents about the water supply.  When my friend went down she was the last one and not all her buckets were full.  It means that I was the second last person to get  water.
     You know, this is plain human.  At times like this, we forget about others.  We just think of our own survival. One of my friend's husband came out of the lift with lots of buckets.  We told him that the truck has left and he was devastated.  He even asked if I would want to give him one bucket of water and I just gave him a smile.  Whether it was a joke or not, at that point we'll never know.  Then he made another statement to another person there that he wanted to buy that bucket of water.  That person joked saying one litre for RM15.  Do you think he was joking?  Well, this poor guy ended up taking pool water.
     This is just two days without water and the place is a chaos.   Am I one of those inconsiderate people who think for themselves or am I just another victim trying to survive?  What if you were in my shoes.  What will you do at times of disaster?

(By the way, I just received an sms from a friend that now both our lifts are not functioning!!!  Aargh.. This is even worse than Nightmare in Elm Street!)

Suatu Pertemuan Percintaan

Esok hari jadi suamiku.  Dariku untuknya...

Suatu Pertemuan Percintaan

Di suatu pertemuan
Ku ternampak dirimu
Bagaikan takdir kita bersatu
Mengharungi hidup suka dan duka
Bagaikan takdir, kita jatuh
Tersungkur dan hampir runtuh
Kemana arah yang ingin dituju
Perjalanan hidup tidak menentu

Di suatu ketika kita bersua
Ku terkenang peristiwa lama
Riang ria kita ketawa
Ku tersenyum, kau berlawak jenaka
Di ketika kau mula membisu
Kau menjeling tersenyum sipu
Tiada kata terucap di bibir
Hati keras si batu kelikir

Di suatu masa kita duduk bersama
Senyap sepi, tiada lafaz, tiada kata
Namun tangan dipegang erat
Kasih sayang sampai ke akhirat
Itu yang terucap dari pandangan mata
Walau mulut tidak bersuara
Mahligai yang telah dibina bersama
Akan kekal selama-lamanya
Kerna kau insan, yang teramat ku cinta.

Nukilan 5 Oktober 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY...

Madah Seorang Ibu

Anak-anak tersayang.. kita harus sentiasa mengingati ibu.  Tanpa dia siapalah kita.  Baik buruknya, dia tetap ibu kita.  Kita tidak perlu menunggu Hari Ibu untuk mengucapkan terima kasih sebaliknya ucapan itu harus kita ucapkan setiap kali kita membuka mata kerana tanpa ibu, kita tidak dapat menikmati keindahan yang Maha Esa.  Bersyukurlah dan pohonlah kemaafan.

Madah Seorang Ibu


Wahai anak tersayang

Ibu menyusun sepuluh jari

Ada ketika kumenengking

Ada ketika kutempeleng

Wahai anak yang tersayang

Ibu memohon kemaafan

Kadang-kadang naik berang

Kadang-kadang meradang

Tiada niat di dalam hati

Menyakiti anak yang kusayangi
Anak tak pernah dibenci

Walau dipukul atau dicaci

Cuma mulut terlepas cakap

Lumrah seorang insan biasa

Wahai anak yang tersayang

Engkaulah kurniaan, permata hatiku

Jangan mudah ambil hati

Ibu masih menyayangi

Walau sesekali terkasar bahasa 

Anak tetap terpahat dihati

Ibarat air dicincang takkan putus
Kasih sayangku kekal abadi


Nukilan 30 September 2006

Hari Ibu

Hari ni saya mendapat 4 kuntum bunga dari dua anak dara kesayangan.  Entah manelah dia dapat duit.  Bagus juga ada hari-hari seperti ini supaya memperingatkan kita kepada pengorbanan dan jasa ibu kita.  Luahan seorang anak sempena sambutan Hari Ibu...


             Lafazku, Peganganku

Asy-hadu alla ilaha illallah.
Wa-asy-hadu anna Muharn-madar rasulullah.

Berlinang air mata di pipimu
Hancur jiwa seorang ibu
Di mana segala pengorbananmu
Terlerai mendengar lafazku

Ibu, janganlah engkau bersedih hati
Aku pergi pasti kembali
Takkan ku lupa jasa dan bakti
Kau tetap ibu yang ku sayangi

Aku anak tidak sempurna
Pasti jiwamu penuh kecewa
Anak dibesar telah derhaka
Menjatuhkan muka, maruah keluarga

Wahai ibu tersemat di hati
Hatimu tabah berjiwa suci
Lahirnya cucu pembuka hati
Kerap kali kau datang menziarahi

Walau hatimu pilu, masih terluka
Kau tetap hadir dengan ceria
Pertalian kekal tak kira agama
Kau terima peganganku dengan redha

Ampunkan aku atas lafazku
Inilah pegangan hidup baruku
Aku bersyukur Allah nan satu
Dikurniakan ibu, yang menerima peganganku 


Nukilan 17 Mei 2006

The Treasure We Forget

     Sometimes we think that our life is miserable.  Sometimes we think that we just cannot move on.  Two days ago, I was watching a movie in HBO and it was a very meaningful story.  The movie motivated me to realize that I am not alone in this world.  All the ups and downs that I face are just small challenges from Allah.  Perhaps it is merely reminding me to be better.  In the story, a little girl had to do something to help her parents' life.  Her father could not afford to support the family anymore.  He had to travel away from the family to find job.  Unfortunately, he returned empty handed.  The way people struggle to support themselves, they are willing to do anything just to fill the empty stomach.  The mother had to squeeze some space to make place for other unfortunates to move into the house.  They rented the rooms to outsiders and had to plant vegetables in the backyard.  They even rare chickens to sell eggs.  Although they are facing all these troubles, they were still holding on.

     It made me think for awhile.  I should be thankful and grateful that there are still food to spare and shelter for my children.  Although sometimes life can be very difficult, we sometimes forget the most important thing in life.  We think money is everything.  Life without money is meaningless.  All we do is work, work and more work.  However, we forget that by the end of the day, there are still happy feet dancing in the house.  And when you come home, there are open arms waiting to be hugged.  Not forgetting that sweet smile, telling you there are still hope.  And finally, all you ever need is actually each other. When you have that, you will feel that your life is complete.  And that, makes a family.

Sweet Eyda

     A few days ago I went to a mamak restaurant to enjoy my dinner.  At the same time the tv programme, 'Bersamamu' was on.  It was about two clever girls who could not gain more education due to family financial problem.  So, an organisation sponsored to educate these two girls who are just four and five years old.  The sad part was they had to be apart from the family and was taken away.  They were crying and kept saying wanting to stay with their mother.  


     I was being a naughty and bad mother teased my first and second daughter about putting them in a boarding school if they do not want to study at home.  My second child is the emotional type.  She was happily eating her fries until I kept whispering in her ears saying how much I will miss hugging and cuddling by her side.  Miss calling her name and teasing her.  Then suddenly, tears flow on her chubby cheeks and it was 'raining heavily'.  I had to hug her and comfort her, telling that I will not let her go.  The poor thing tricked by her mother.  


     This poem was written for her when I was admitted in the hospital, with only the corner of the newspaper for me to scribble, while waiting for the big moment. 

Waiting For The Moment


Today I sit and wait for the time,
for you my dear, to forever be mine.
My heart beats fast, like cars in a rush,
waiting to hold you  and your hair I can brush.
Whose eyes do you have?
Whose face do you resemble?
I cannot wait to know
The suspense makes me tremble.


The sound of your cry
is song to my ears.
The moment you arrive,
my eyes full of tears.
You are my joy.
My forever pride.
When you open your eyes,
I'll be by your side.
So do not be afraid,
not even feel sad.
For I will always love you,
nothing more to be said.


Written on 11 March 2003

Hush, hush..

Hush, little baby, don't say a word.
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird

And if that mockingbird won't sing,
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring

And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass

And if that looking glass gets broke,
Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat

And if that billy goat won't pull,
 Mama's gonna buy you a cart and bull

And if that cart and bull turn over,
Mama's going to buy you a dog named Rover.

And if that dog named Rover won't bark,
Mama's going to buy you a horse and cart.

And if that horse and cart fall down,
You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town.

Hush, hush.. don't cry.  Wipe that tears away.  Someone out there still cares.  It's difficult to please people.  Sometimes when you do good deeds, people misjudged you.  Or sometimes people make use of you.  Sincerity.  How do you know what is really in someone's heart?  Could they praise you for your good work?  Or perhaps the praise is merely a gimmick.  We can never impress everyone.  We can follow but there are times when we must stand up straight to defend ourselves.  We can laugh but not all jokes are taken seriously.  Some may not be funny at all.  We can ask but not all can give us the correct answer.  So the person we should really ask is perhaps ourselves.  And most of all, when we are down.  Who will come and who will go?  Who lifts you up and who pulls you down?  Friends. No.  You are your friend.  Only you know who you are.  Only you know what you want.  And only you can open your heart again.  Hush, hush..